| too long. too overdue. |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|11:39 pm] |
man i havent blogged for so long. and so many things have happened. but today will be a picture update.
the modeling gig happened. and it went well. fortunately. i was about to walk out when i saw the other models. couldnt deal everyone was so pretty. no pics yet it's still getting retouched.
so ive just been partying and partying and partying. here are ze photos.
and this week is the last week of uni. FOREVER!
which means a gazillian word assignments due this friday.
yay fun.
the one week break.
2 exams.
and over.
eeee.
end.
im really gonna miss the coast when i leave even though it's so fucking shit. |
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| Dazed & Dazed |
[Oct. 9th, 2009|01:26 am] |
i have always not been the type to eat well. i mean, i like food but i don't love it. sometimes i don't eat because i'm lazy.. not because i want to lose weight or whatever because obviously i am not fat. and sometimes, a lot of "eaters" can't believe me when i say it, i will forget to eat. for some people when there's the hunger feeling they'll go and search for food right away but i'm so used to the hunger that my brain and body doesn't compute anymore to look for food so i just ignore it so i will forget to eat. and i normally just have one meal per day... which is normally dinner and just drink or smoke throughout the day. so healthy.
so a few days ago i got gastric. a mild version. self-diagnosed but i know what it is because i've had it before.
my diet is fine for me at the moment but i know it's gonna be peril for my future health and from what i've felt these last few days. i'm not gonna like it. so i've taken the conscious effort to eat healthier, smoke less and buy vitamins in hoping my body will like me again. i donno why i just wrote that but i just felt like it. so many people live in the moment, which is good but i think after a certain age, seriously it's all about the future. i guess i'm using food her because it relates to more people rather than if i talked about cigarettes or drugs or drinking.
so there you go.
ive been so lazy at uni. i havent been for soooo long. and its shit because i dont want to fail any subjects because i havent been failing so if i do right this sem i will graduate and be free and start work etc and then move and do whatever it is i want/wish to do. it's coming so close.. if everything goes to plan university and studying life for me will end in 2 months. FOREVER. can you imagine? i can still remember finishing high school. i thought i'd never miss high school but fuck i miss high school. and there is this part of me that kinda wants to fail a subject or 2 this semester so i can stay at uni for at least another semester because im not ready to make these life-changing, adult, major choices and decisions yet. is this wrong? i think all i'll do is my best throughout this sem and during the finals and whatever happens, happens, i'll be relieved both ways. fail or pass.
i know from the start we've established that this is nothing more than what it is. and we're both not looking for anything at the moment. we're both too young to be tied down and these are the days and years to be free. but no matter how many people i've been with or am around i'll go back to thinking about you. and i can't wait to see you next and i know you feel the same way too because you've said it. and i like what i see in your eyes when you're looking at me. no one else feels the same or tastes the same. and of course even smells the same. it is so funny because i'm into all this expensive designer scents and the one you wear is the most common one out there yet it's all i look out for and look forward to smelling. and youve made me realise how great and amazing it is to wake up next to someone in the morning or even go to bed with someone at night and have someone to put my arms around in the middle of the night when i can't sleep. so it is what it is and i really dont want anything else to happen because im not good with relationships and i like you too much to be in a relationship with if that makes sense. whatever happens, happens. it is what it is. even though i'm up for the opposite, the last thing i want right now is to fall for someone. what's going on at the moment is fine and good for me and you and im just writing all this here to get it off my chest. and it sucks that youre always busy and im always busy and you live so far away. but i know the next time we'll meet.. it will be too good. even better than before. |
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| parklifeeeee |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|04:17 am] |
today was such a workout/running/sweaty day!
today was the parklife music festival which i desperately wanted to go to.
but the tickets were really expensive like 180 or some shit so ridiculous.
so decided to break into it today.
...unfortunately i didn't get through but one of my friends did.
bastard.
there were soooo many people at the festival like thousands and thousands and thousands.
la roux, crystal castles, empire of the sun, rapture, metric etc etc etc etc etc etc etc
played i cant fucking believe i missed all this.
i got to hear la roux from the outside.. good enough.
and a bit of CC.
when everyone started to leave... i just kept looking at their faces.. on the way out.. because i was sitting at the exit waiting for the friend who got in to leave..
i've never seen so many people fucked up on drugs in my life!
literally thousands were fucked and some had to wear sunglasses while walking on the streets at night coz they couldnt control dem "eyez" hahaha.
so jealous.
but so fun.. everyone's feeling the same things listening to the same sounds experiencing the same shit.
fuck. ok next time im buying a ticket.
tried so hard to get in ran here and everywhere..
broke into the bushes stepped on watery rocks stepped in a fucking pond and the lifeguards were laughing at us who were tying to break in coz they werent security guards or police.
im not kidding but almost 200 of us formed this massive group to try and break in and create a diversion.
we all ran for the barricades to try and knock it down and climb over it.
sooo crazy and scary and fucking exciting.
i love breaking the law hahaha
we stopped trying after they brought dogs. im not gonna die and bleed for parklife im not that deperate.
but yes i nearly made it to the barricades after crossing the muddy bushes and water except the people in front of me got tackled by the police and the security guards and some undercover cop punched this other guy omggggggg and i was like fuck this shit and ran back to the muddy grounds and when i looked back while running i saw a fucking police office running after me like chasing me OMG i got soo scared haha i ran like crazy and jumped over some bitches and then lost him thank god.
i was so close to being arrested.
again.
but anyways in the end we just got dinner and chilled in the city.
thats it.
we've been getting these sandstorms lately.
such crazy weather.
feels like im on mars or something.
goodbye. |
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| puasa nak abes |
[Sep. 17th, 2009|01:19 am] |
exams are over so no more studying and stressing for a while. except my dad called me a few days ago saying the internet bill is 500 bucks. shit. and im meant to pay half. okay cool whatever. even though its not my fault. there goes my partying fund for melbourne.
on that note i will be visiting melbourne for the first time next week!
really excited. cant wait to walk everywhere and people watch.
i cant wait to be able to sit at a coffee shop during winter and have my coffee and cigarettes at the same time!
i cant wait to meet new people and shop and omg do so much shit.
anyone who's been to melbourne please let me know places to visit and see okay.
im gonna spend a week and a half there.
accomodation isnt confirmed. anyone with a couch or an extra bedroom?
i'll do anything for free accomodation.
haha.
and i donno if i want to do this but someone i know is graduating from fashion school and she has to do a photoshoot for her collection that she has designed for the graduate show. and she wants me to be in it and i really dont want to because i'll be posing with 5 other WHITE SKINNY TALL HANDSOME/CUTE MALE MODELS. like wtf. im gonna feel so fat and short and ugly around them. i think if i were to do it i would probably hide my face behind some bushes or i donno just somehow find a way to hide my face but yet be able to show the clothes. how like this? ill probs need pounds of make up on my face and i will probably have to wear heels or something.
ok that's it.
raya this sunday!
how not exciting.
i hope i wont be hungover during raya prayers again this year. |
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| on a side note. |
[Sep. 6th, 2009|12:45 pm] |
i forgot to mention that the other night when me and my friends were drinking cheap wine near the beach, the police drove past and stopped when they saw us. i saw their doors opened and we fucking ran (while still clutching our bottles) like motherfuckers. i've never ran from the cops before. or have i? i cant remember. but anyways everyone ran and the lesson here is to run and hide the bottle and then continue running but i ran and continued running with the bottle which then exploded and splashed all over my shirt and jacket. for those of you silly cunts who dont drink, mmm think running with an opened bottle of coke and having your thumb over the lid so it doesnt "splash". bad idea. so when that happened i put it on the bench and kept on running and some cheap ass ho bitch stole it and ran away with it. what a shitty slut, i could have herpes or some rank disease. after all the drunken running we lost the cops. thank god. and then walked back slowly and tracked back where everyone hid their bottles and resumed drinking in public again.
so that was my first actual running away from cops experience. (from what i can remember)
i just felt like documenting it by writing about it here.
and in a couple of weeks im going to sneak into a big music festival.
i feel like such a delinquent. |
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| sober weekend. |
[Aug. 9th, 2009|07:15 am] |
i only went to one day of uni this week out of three.
shit. i feel so guilty.
im gonna go for every class next week i promise!
the reason for this is because i couldnt wake up! the classes are so early like 8am or 11am eeee.
on friday i went up to brisbane with some friends.
had dinner and walked around just go get away from the coast for a few hours.
took the 10pm train back and nearly missed the train and i didnt wanna wait for the next one coz it was gonna be an hour later so i rushed through the gate without even buying a ticket. they dont normally check anyways.
BUT OF COURSE.
THEY HAD TO CHECK THE ONLY TIME I DIDNT BUY A FUCKING TICKET.
the ticket checkers came on the train halfway back to the coast and i was pa-fucking-nicking. the fine is 200 bucks. im not ready to part from my money for such a shit reason like that. they were giving some guy a fine at the end of the carriage so it took them awhile to get to me. and then the train stopped and I RAN OUT OF THE TRAIN HAHAHA but it was the ghetto. fucking scary ghetto place. i was scared. thank god i had a friend with me. it was so quiet and dark. we had to wait for an hour in the dark ghetto station. and it was freezing cold. i was so fucking annoyed. thank god there was a maccas 10 mins away from the station. so we just chilled there. another train came after that and then went home got changed and went to e.l.s.e.where. so this kinda big band was playing on the coast and it was the launch of their EP so we went to see them but we were too late. arrived at 230am. so shit. a lot of familiar faces and it was really packed inside and its not normally on a friday night but a lot of peeps came out to see the band.
and then we got invited by one of the band members to go back to their apartment and hang out. it was fun. everyone sat in a circle smoking and drinking beer. (except for me because i dont drink beer). and every few mins someone from the band would stop the music and start playing their guitars and we'd all sing along. and i tried on all their leather jackets haha. it was so chilled. and on the tv was this dvd of a burning fireplace hahaha. it went on for hours and there was even crackling so it "felt" like it was warm in the apartment. im surprised there were no drugs. it was too late to get any so everyone just settled for beer. it felt like a scene from almost famous haha because i felt like such a rookie and everyone else was cool and were rockstars. me and my friends left at 6am. the sun was up and it was fucking freezing. didnt really know where we were so we walked along the beach for 30 mins trying to find a landmark and we finally found a maccas and ate and then caught a bus home. all the morning walkers and joggers and old people who wake up really early to exercise were giving us these stares like eh fucking rude please we had a rough night.
anyways here are some blurry pics.
thats the lead singer of the band he looks like daniel johns the silverchair dude. uncanny resemblance.
and as good looking.
got cute cat! hahaha
end. |
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| blah. |
[Aug. 3rd, 2009|01:03 am] |
either iphone cameras are really shit or T really is the worst photographer in the world. |
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| bust your windows. |
[Jul. 30th, 2009|07:00 am] |
seriously everyone needs to get on board and watch Glee!
hilarious and heartwarming.
ive been such a recluse lately. all i do is stay home and watch tv and go on the internet for hours.
and my sleeping routine is fucked up but that is not news.
i sleep at 8am and wake up at 8pm. TERBALIK SIAL!
so whenever people ask me out for lunch or dinner or shopping or coffee etc i cant go because im not awake to answer their calls or just not awake at all. im always like this when i come back from kl because there its very hectic and upbeat. you see your friends and your family 24/7 everyday and youre always doing something and going somewhere and there is always plans. youre barely alone so you dont really get down because youre constantly busy and around people unlike here where im always alone. even though i choose to be and this makes me think a lot and.. its just unhealthy basically and i cant get out of this cycle...yet. but i will, because i have. it will just take a few more days and im sure when uni starts and stuff it will be okay. again.
last weekend i stayed in. i stayed home on friday and saturday. both days and nights. even my mum was shocked when she called and i answered and told her i was at home.
me: hello.
mum: why aren't you out? its a weeknight.
me: oh. yeah. i dont know.
mum: hm.
but whatever that was last weekend.
this weekend im quite filled up!
so apparently i'm going to be performing a couple of songs at this club with my friends when they dj. theyre headlining the night so they get to do whatever they want which means i get to do whatever i want too and since i realised i sort of want to pursue music again (haha yes), i'd push myself out there and perform. it's been YEARS since i last performed i dont know how it's going to turn out. and this time it's in a club and it's more intimate and i have to not be amateur because that's embarrassing and rock out and pretend ive done it for years. OMG I THINK I JUST PSYCHED MYSELF OUT. i dont know if this will be a good idea anymore. one of my excuses for not doing it was because my piercings arent healed and ive got ugly shitty earrings on and i didnt wanna be seen in public with them but i just changed them then which means it has healed so ive no more excuse.
(omg w and fatt and lydz i finally got the thick earring in and it was so easy with some lube seriously took like 2 seconds i thought it was gonna be painful and annoying but it so wasnt and now im happyyyy hahahah thanks for bearing with me and my questions and worries. non stop and annoying to the max i know but im always paranoid so its ok its all good now yessss)
so yes i MIGHT BE performing this weekend. alongside my friend's dj set.
its thursday so i have 2 days to decide.
and i havent even learnt the words to the songs.
good or what.
it will be a sure success.
omggggggg
AND
on saturday will be this big big big event on the coast.
this big warehouse will be converted into a gallery and there will be artworks by local gc artists and some bands are playing and there will be heaps of kids going. i havent been out and about in the "Scene" for so long hahaha. so that night im unveiling a new look. new hair and new ears and new wardrobe. WAH. and a few of the photographers who are going are friends so expect peeeekturezzz.
but i know after coming back from that ill be talking about how shit the gc art scene is etc etc so im not really expecting much.
CANT WAIT TO MOVE TO MELBOURNE AT THE START OF THE YEAR!
really excited for that.
uni has started.
it started on monday but ive skipped and will be skipping this whole week.
im only going next week.
really not motivated to study anymore.
not motivated about my degree as well.
seriously so over it all i wanna do is sleep and go on the internet forever and then die.
supershitbored of this shitty life.
oh and i smuggled 2 cartons of cigarettes into australia.
nearly got caught.
wouldve been blacklisted and fined.
but THANK YOU LUCKY STARS FOR SAVING MY FLAT ASS.
AND MY MICROWAVE IS BROKEN.
this is a disaster for anyone who is living out of home.
trust me.
ultimate peril.
but thank god i have an oven but it sucks when you just want to heat up a muffin and instead of putting it in the microwave for 10 secs you gotta pre-heat the oven for so many minutes and then have it in the oven for so many minutes and then switch it off and then put on those oven gloves things i forgot what theyre called to take them out. so troublesome! when you only wanna heat up A MUFFIN.
at least ive solved my piercing problem so it's one mountain out of the way.
its 730am and im so awake.
i think i want to stay awake the whole day and go to bed really early tonight so my sleeping routine will be okay again and normalcy to resume.
good morning. |
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| QUIZ. |
[Jul. 25th, 2009|07:41 am] |
Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or laying down?
Standing up.
Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
No.
Who's bed were you on last?
My brother's bed.
Do you like to cuddle?
Yes. all the time. anytime.
Does anyone have feelings for you?
Perhaps. Who knows?
Do you hate the last person you kissed?
Not at all.
Where is your phone?
On my floral place mat on the table.
What was the last thing you drank?
Vanilla coke.
Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
In between loud and reasonable.
Have you lived in the same town your entire life?
Definitely not.
Last time you had a headache?
Saturday morning after an all night party at someone's resort house.
Who is the first person you saw this morning?
I have not seen anyone in 2 days.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
I have not slept and it's 745am.
Do you miss anyone?
Yes. Too many people to mention by name.
Morning or night person?
Night. definitely.
Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
Everything i told myself i wouldnt do ive done. so now im learning to say hopefully not instead of never.
Do you sleep on a particular side of the bed?
Im not a fussy sleeper.
What were you doing at 12 am last night?
Eating "breakfast" i woke up at 130pm.
Explain what you will be doing in the next three hours:
Maybe go to sleep for a few hours maybe stay up and watch cartoons.
Is it a boy or girl to text you last?
Boy.
If something was wrong, who is the first guy you would go to?
L or T.
Who is the first girl you would go to?
S or R.
Have you ever cried in front of your number one?
I dont have a number one.
What is your favorite season?
Autumn.
Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
I change myself every month.
Are you dating the person you text most?
Haha. I don't know what's going on at the moment.
Think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
I really don't know.
Is the last person that you had a conversation with a male or a female?
Male
Why were you last sad?
A few minutes ago because I was reminiscing about my time in KL and because of a certain someone. I sometimes wonder if someone makes another person so sad constantly, is it even worth it? But I guess you can't choose.
What should you be doing?
Sleeping.
Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
Future. Constantly. Unhealthily.
Was your New Years enjoyable?
It was mediocre.
Showered with someone lately?
Nope.
What will your weekend be like?
No plans at the moment but I want it to be rockus.
What is running through your mind right now?
Why you're not replying, idiot.
When was the last time you really laughed?
On skype with P last night.
When you say your fine do you mean it?
Never.
Do you like telling people whats wrong?
No.
Who was the last person you kissed?
-.
Do you like crying in front of people?
Not always.
What friends would i find you with on a tuesday?
Tuesday is quite a random night for me it could be whoever. |
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| feed the horse. |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|12:14 am] |
my short holiday in kl is coming to an end soon.
and it will be my turn to come back to MY reality.
2 weeks is too short. i wish my holidays were longer.
i really need more time away from the gold coast.
so many things happened!
these 2 weeks have passed by so quick!
fatfeyw came down for a few days.
met up with a lot of friends.
some that was worth it.
some that wasnt.
no matter how much effort you put... some friends just grow apart.
and two weeks is definitely not enough to get over this/you.
idk how to deal when i go back.
ive been missing you but because of my hectic days here its tolerable but when i go back it will be hell because youre a phonecall away and an sms away.
ok. enough.
ok im left with a few more days here so gimme a call if you guys wanna hang! |
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| i'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears. |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|11:44 pm] |
i feel like i'm on a never-ending rollercoaster ride.
up and down and let and right and side to side.
ive always loved rollercoasters so i donno if i actually want this to stop or for it to keep going.
it's good now.
i feel like i'm getting through.
i feel like i'm starting to break the mould.
i want to make an impact so that if/when i'm gone you'll realise it.
even though you want do/say anything... i'll know it.
but the main point here is that im getting through!
which i'm so amazed at!
finally!
it actually clicked. something clicked.
so whatever i'm kinda happy.
i guess.
and i'm going to be in malaysia this saturday.
cant wait.
2 weeks seem kinda short but i'll make it work.
cold here and then hot there and then back to cold.
seems like the story of my life.
and i hope everyone who's coming makes it!
reunion again!
yay! |
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| you never owed it to them anyway. |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|11:02 pm] |
oh man i went out last night to i think the most "scene-est" party ever.
there were local bands and skate boards were being auctioned.
so all the brisbane skaters, indie boys, indie girls, fashionistas, "scenesters", musicians, artists blablabla were there. when i say all i mean all. all until by 11pm it was overcrowded and they couldnt let anyone in anymore.
i nearly felt sick. it was soo crowded. and i think everyone knew who everyone was or knew of each other. like 1 degree of separation between everyone. which made it awkward and annoying coz there's ppl you hate who are friends with yr friends who hate their friends who used to date one of your closest friends and gave herpes to his current girlfriend and she doesnt know but everyone else knows but yet they all dont know shes been hooking up with his bestfriend etcetcetcetc. SUFFOCATING.
it was cold outside but hot inside which fucking made me so angry because i was wearing a mohair cape which is soo warm and inside i was sweating!
there was a photog chasing me in there and im normally always up for a photo op but fucking tried to avoid it. all sweaty and shit.
got so over and it and left early.
whole time sober. maybe thats why it was so shit?
and we all finally said hi to C.
after i think TWO years of secretly knowing we knew each other.
but never acknowledging it in real life.
because too snobby hahahah.
i took one for the team and was like "hi youre C right? well i'm I. and i know you know me and i know you. i think it's finally time we actually introduce ourselves in real life."
or somewhere along those lines which was fucking funny hahahaha.
um imagine these boys plus girls times 50.
last night.
in one small building.
ANNOYING.
but got in a fucking bad mood when YOU came.
said you were gonna be there at 8. but texted later saying youre gonne be late so you came at 9.
and you said to "wait for me".
which i did.
i waited.
i fucking waited when my friends wanted to go.
i waited and told my friends to wait and gave them some shit reason like "oh i like the next band".
and then you arrived.
ok so walked with you downstairs to introduce you to my friends and you saw your friends walking up the stairs and you just fucking left with them to get a drink without even saying anything? like what the fuck?
are you that retarded?
or am i being weird?
because thats actually fucked up right?
kept happening the entire night where you'd disappear without saying shit.
so im actually waiting for what?
for a hello?
oh thanks.
just be fucking normal for once and not so awkward is that too much to ask?
fuck.
alright fine and then we all left.
went to another bar and i saw that boy.
and i said hi to that boy. out of "oh hey i recognise you and we met once" way.
and he asked about you.
a boy, who i definitely can confirm kinda likes you, because i am a boy too hence i know.
fine not your fault but just made my night shittier.
i think if you didnt come it would make my night a whole lot better.
i think if you disappeared my life would be a whole lot better.
but its hard to stay away. and its so hard to forget.
much needed vacation.
so whole night was feeling lame.
went back to the hilton at 2am.
chain smoked in the toilet and did random shit till 5am when we all went to bed.
woke up to the tv being on and CNN announcing Michael Jackson is dead.
sadness.
it's friday night and im at home.
fucking bored. |
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| the boy with a thorn on his side. |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|02:53 am] |
you make me really sad.
and really happy.
and really angry.
and really annoyed.
and really giddy.
all at once.
but most of the time one by one.
the fucking thing about this is you have no clue.
at least you're showing you have no clue.
i treat you better than i treat all my friends combined.
which makes me hate myself.
because my friends deserve so much better than you from me.
i dont mind walking in mud and ruining my new shoes just to get to you.
i dont care if im fucking drenched in the rain.
i dont care if i have to travel 3 hours just to see you for 30 minutes.
i dont care if you talk like shit to me sometimes.
you could at least fucking show something.
how dare you.
how bloody fucking dare you.
i put up with your bipolar shit all the time when normal people give up halfway.
i put up with that shit.
i even put up with your condescending and judgemental shit.
fuck.
how fucking ridiculous is that coming from me?
this is why i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate you.
but the line that separates my hate and my **** for you is very thin.
and youre playing it.
like a string it is.
i hope you're not doing it consciously because if you are, you're breaking me.
ive never been broken.
not even cracked.
i dont crack.
and the first time always hurts the most.
i hate how you can turn my moods on and off like a switch.
i hate how you have the power to do that.
i want the power back.
im never putting myself in this situation again.
here's a big fuck you to you.
i dont care anymore.
goodbye.
farewell.
the ride was fun while it lasted.
im running away now.
and im gonna try my best to keep running. |
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| how i spent my monday in brisbane. |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|10:45 pm] |
woke up at 7am on the floor of a friend's house after passing out from the previous night's party.
laid in bed for 3 hours.
awake.
because it was too cold and it was raining and i like being all rugged up and be lying down when it's raining.
even if it's on the floor.
left friend's house at 11.
missioned it to someone's office. in the middle of nowhere.
i seriously dont travel like this for anyone else.
had lunch for an hr (coz thats how long lunch hours are. so short.) and then left to go to the city.
drenched in the rain because i refused to use my mum's pink umbrella.
ruined my new shoes.
and then
for one hour.
and then back home to the gold coast.
exhausted now goodnight. |
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| cosmiclove |
[Jun. 11th, 2009|09:36 am] |
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart
The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart |
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| Vulgar. |
[Jun. 7th, 2009|11:41 pm] |
Last Friday we all went to see In.Flagranti. at Em.pire.
It was fucking good. The best nights are the nights that's the most random and spontaneous and unexpected. Agree? Yes.
A friend drove to Brisbane and then we checked into our apartment. Got ready and then took a bus to a house party. Reached there and it was quite chaotic. Kinda scary even. Didnt know anyone. After that a few of us went into the toilet to do some business haha. A few snorts later everything went crazy! I think someone barged into the toilet and saw us and like announced to everyone at the party but there was none left sozzz. Anyways went crazy for awhie but then we left quite early because the house was getting trashed really badly and we knew the police were gonna come anytime soon so we bailed to go see the djs.
Saved 10 bucks from that night coz our names were on the door. Yessss. A friend bought all of us two rounds of long island ice teas!!! Made my night! Fucking love them seriously taste nothing like alco..tastes delishersss and so easy to drink and gets you so drunk. Perfect. Waited around a bit for the djs to come on. They started at 1230. They were sooo good I worked up a fucking sweat dancing to them for 1.5 hours! To top it off I saw some sniffing from this tiny bottle while I was on the dancefloor and I launched at her and was like "omg can i please have someeeee" and I went fucking mentallllllllcrazyyyyy hahahah shit fucking fun night. And then I saw her again but I didnt wanna directly ask her for more so I was like "hey bitch thanks for the amyl youre the best" hahaha and shes like "do you want more??" and i was like "fuck yeah ive never heard more better words uttered" hahahaha and then nijdsvgbagdyfgubcgrfur again for a minute. And as usual.. headache after that. After that we chilled at the smoking area for a bit and "socialised". Made friends with a few new peeps. Some dude asked for my number? Weird? Weirder considering his girlfriend was sitting near us and she was giving me these bitch eyes. Shit not my fault I didnt ask for his?
And then chilled with the boys from El.K.e. Some local band. One of them asked if I was a "hardcore socialite" because he always sees me around. How do you answer that without sounding like a douche? And you know what I realise... when mixing with these "people" try not to talk abt their "art" or "music" or "shows" unless they initiate it. I think it almost annoys them. By 3am we were tired and left to sleep at the apartment. Realised I had so much shit in my body that night (+ smoked a pack of cigarettes + pharmaceuticals + a bit of thegunja) and I knew I wasnt going to feel good the next day coz we had to check out by 10am and I was still awake at 6. Anyways at 10 we all woke up and decided to go for a nice breakfast. Ordered and the bumped into the boys from e.L.kE decided to join us. OMG. hate it. You know how when u go out you meet people and you can talk a lot to them and socialise coz youre drunk.. and it wont matter the next day coz you wont see them. Fuck it was horrific. hungover and trying to uphold the "image" omg. thank fucking god for sunglasses. hate talking when youre hungover and you look like fucking shit. anyways we finished our food and then drove back. napped for a few hrs and had to get ready to go out for another birthday dinner. and some guy who was this established brisbane artist was gonna be there hence the need to dress up and be in a good mood...again. seriously i felt so tired. im too old for this shit. cant deal anymore. need to tone it down. im not going out for 2 weeks! need to study and i have examsss and assignments due. booo
here are some pics from the night
night. |
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| Parallel Lines. |
[May. 24th, 2009|02:27 am] |
i'm so lazy to blog because every time something crosses my mind.. i just twit it?
so parents have gone back home.
theyre so much more tolerable year after year.
interesting.
maybe because this was a short trip for them as well.
i think 2 weeks is the max that i can spend with them without losing my shit and them losing theirs and adam losing his.
but i got 2 new sick technological things from there so i guess i copped more shit from them this time too haha.
have been quite a recluse lately as well. when theyre here i sorta do that to give them the impression that im a good boy and i dont do bad things. which sort of works! and plus assignments and exams and presentations have been occupying me. and they drive me to uni everyday so good also!
now that theyve gone back.. its time to return to my normal life!
so many things coming up these coming weeks! and the fact that winter is here makes it ten times better.
love you winter. love you crazy murderous storm.
goodbye reclusitivitatizationzzZz.
just came back from my friend's house on top of this hill and at night it has this beautiful view of the gold coast. its so serene there and nice and cold. picturesque.
we had a whole pizza each. crazy. fucking fat shitdickpess.
made the pizza from scratch with personalised ingredients hahah and mine had extra extra cheese.
delicious. i only eat home-made pizza now.
we all stayed up till the morning and then by 7am two of my friends (who were weak coz couldnt stay up) fell asleep and it was me and tom left... sitting on the floor in this hallway not knowing what to do and watching youtube clips on our iphones. then we decided to watch a dvd and went into my friend's room to choose a dvd. she's got heaps! took awhile to choose because there were quite a few and guess what be both chose at the same time.... hahahah. THE SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE.
me: *points to SATC* um?
tom: yeah i was looking at that. yeah?
me: yeah do u wanna watch this?
tom: yeah
me: yeah
both: yeah its fucking sick right hahahahah ok lets go
of course i was the last one to fall asleep. actually went to bed at 10am.
and then everyone woke up at around 530pm and then sun was already down.
and then we ate again.
and now im back home.
a good friday night for me.
anyways on the itinerary for me these coming weeks:
tomorrow - shopping in brisbane.
tuesday - presentation
thursday (day) - presentation
thursday (night) - dinner
thursday (later at night) - club night m.o.t.h in brisbane with emer.gency!.e.mergency! from sydney and j.ess.e ol.s.e.n as featured artist. cant wait for this everyone gets so dressed up and crazy and my friend rented a 2 storey penthouse apartment just so we could stay there the night.
saturday - another club night but on the gc with d.a.n.g.e.r from france. free entry and free drinks and private rooms for us.. gotta love it.
and then the next week there's this night in brisbane called p.e.kac.hu.ka where artists/designers/architects/musicians/ anyone in the brisbane creative industry come together and mix and mingle and and put up shows to inspire each other. sounds really arty and ......cultured. haha and so i will go.
it will be fun. its not but im going to pretend that its a date.
so thats it with meh lyfeZ.
kinda boring.
though there's so much food in the house!!
what do i do with it??
eat? later fat how and it doesnt help that its winter time so more hunger pangs and the body just needs/wants to gain weight. love feeling the cold in your bones when youre walking around at night hahahahaha.
end
ps seriously i think im going crazy. YOURE MAKING ME CRAZY. like a lunatic. like an emotional lunatic. this is so ridiculous!!! i dont like this! like a fucking bipolar. i think you hate me or ive said something wrong everytime you dont reply my messages and the fact that you havent said a word to me at all for 2 days literally made me want to cry. is this me? im not like this! and then when i wake up to a msg from you saying im sorry i just die with happiness. i wish im not going crazy so i can be normal again and just be frivolous. its torture. i wish you werent such an enigma. im so used to being able to read people and understand people and youre one of the few that i just dont get. which adds to the reason why im going totally insane. i really wanna know what youre thinking i wish i had 6th sense or something. as fucking lame as this sounds and i fucking hate the movie seriously but its like how edward cullen like goes crazy for the annoying girl coz he cant read her etc. yeah its like that. its fucked up. haha.
but for the first time i can say for a fact that you have my heart.
as scary as it sounds.
im ready to admit the fact and be vulnerable.
ive never actually felt this before.. its so alien to me.
so i guess this is what it feels like.
despite everything, you're still perfect.
fuck everything.
as usual. |
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